My Dearest Mother Mary,
Easter break is over and it's back to work as usual. Watching a 2 yr old and how her mother struggled to keep her quiet reminded me of the boys when they were that age. I miss their chubby dimpled hands, squeals of laughter, and their soft cheeks. I was so busy trying to care for them, I didn't fully appreciate them as much as I should have. Now, I am filled with so much regret and I feel the need to hold on to every precious moment while I still can.
When you knew you were going to be a mother, did you ever fear for the day you would have to say "good bye"? That no matter how desperately you tried, you could never hold on to any specific point in time? That one day your kisses would no longer stop your child's pain?
The past has been so difficult and I worry about what the future holds. I know I should just focus on getting through the day -- but this seems impossible to me and I can't help but cry out to you in this Vale of Tears...
Lizzy
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