Thursday, May 5, 2016

IFJM - April 14, 2016





Mom --

I hope this letter finds you doing well.  I am sorry I didn't get a chance to visit you last week.  I was unable to get time off from work.  I hope I will get to see you next week. 

Nurse Annette said you seemed to recognize my face when I saw you the last time -- I really couldn't tell.  

I miss you, Mom.  I miss talking with you and sharing my life with you.  We had grown so close and I feel great sadness to have that taken from me.  Do you remember me, how I remember you -- or do you have patches of emptiness where their memories once lay?

Chloé told me I looked like you did when you were my age (she is the only one who talks with me now -- remember?)  If so, does that confuse you when I come to visit you -- as if I had somehow stolen your face?

The boys are getting bigger (10 years old now!) and school is almost over for the year.  We don't have any summer plans for vacation (haven't had a vacation since they were 3 years old...).  So I will try and bring them for a visit so they can at least have some sort of memory of their grandmother, even if she won't have any of them.

I know it is easy for me to think of your Alzheimer's as a curse for you, but perhaps it is some sort of blessing in disguise.  You no longer retain any memories of pain or loss and are set free of the baggage you otherwise would have carried.  Every day would be fresh and new and full of wonder -- The life of an innocent child...

I love you.

Your Lizzy

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