My dear sister,
I pray your birthday was full of happiness and sunshine.
I kept looking for a break in the clouds today -- a beam of light from the heavens to let me know you were there; but, sadly, this did not happen. My tears for you mingled with the rain.
It is still difficult for me to smile: the weight of the past rests so heavily upon my shoulders. Your face lies before me when I close my eyes to sleep -- the screams from that day still echo in my mind. Five months you slept before your eternal rest. Five months of praying, wishing, and hoping...
The scars I bear on my body do not compare to those on my heart. my soul. my life.
Is Martinella with you? Oh, how I longed to have held her close to comfort her when her tiny heart ceased to beat. I still have the Baptismal gown we bought that day -- spotless, despite the crash. I keep it in the memory box you made me.
When will this winter in my soul turn to spring? I miss the joy and laughter that once resided there. Some days I think I see a tiny shimmer of hope; but then it dissipates and I wonder if it was really there at all...
Kiss my darling angel for me.
All my love,
Lizzy
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